I have never been a very religious person, but from what I have gathered in my limited study of most religions is that it all boils down to love. If we can learn to be happy and love ourselves first, and then all those around us, most of the world’s troubles would simply vanish. I know that’s wishful thinking, but since most other people are sending out their Christmas wishes, then I guess I can “hope” along with everyone else.
This past year has seen its share of problems. Sometimes it seems as though they keep getting to be more and more each year in the areas where we have no control. In the areas we do have control, we should feel as though we are making progress at making the world a better place.
We can’t control the earth itself or its weather, except in vague terms, such as determining what is causing global warming and gradually attempting to reverse the damage we may be doing to our planet. But we can control ourselves, our relationships with others, our health, our finances, our educations, and many other things that will show more immediate results. And in those areas, we should always strive to improve.
This last year has brought major disasters, like hurricane Sandy, the results of which were felt in more areas than just the east coast. In the early part of the storm, we couldn’t help but feel a personal loss, when we heard that the replica sailing ship, the Bounty was lost at sea off the coast of North Carolina. We had been aboard the Bounty, and even down inside her, when she was moored at St. Petersburg, Florida in the early 80’s. She was a beautiful ship, and a great loss to many people.
We have also been on board and down inside the USF Constellation, the oldest American warship still afloat, in Baltimore harbor in the late 80’s. I haven’t checked online, but I should, to see how she weathered the storm that hit that area. I’m not even a sailor. It was sheer coincidence that we happened to be nearby both of these great vessels during our travels, and decided to take tours on them.
The year before it was Nashville and it’s historic buildings along the river. We had also been backstage at the Grand Ole Opry in the early 80’s, on a Saturday night while they were performing. We have been in the artist’s lounge and even Roy’s dressing room behind the stage. We have stood inside the famous circles in the stages, both there and at the Ryman. To see any part of that covered with flood water is simply heart-breaking.
Some people are lucky to be in the right place at the right time, while others end up in the wrong place at the wrong time, and through no fault of their own, come upon their irreversible destinies in the saddest of ways. It makes me wonder how much pain or mental anguish a person must go through to commit such heinous acts upon innocent people.
Everyone has their own form of skeletons in their closets, and painful circumstances they have endured, but thankfully, the majority of us get past that. For those that don’t, is it just that they have more skeletons in their closets, more pain that they have endured, poor upbringing, or is it a mental deficiency that makes people do what they do? Whatever it is, we need to find answers.
Even in such a benign atmosphere as writing a blog in order help people, I have found myself at odds with such people. First it was someone who thought I should have spelled it out for him that in return for my free ebook, I was collecting his email address to be added to a marketing list, as though that had never been done before in the history of the Internet!
Then I have been at odds with people who simply “despise” ads on sites, as though nothing had ever been sold before in the history of the world! They need to stop and think that nothing within their sight (other than what nature provided) has been put there without a sale being made first!
And then I find people who, when I try to help them by putting information out there, I get asinine criticism because it doesn’t suit their own needs, and they think they have a better way.
Maybe they do and maybe they don’t, but if they obviously aren’t demonstrating what they “think” they know in what they are putting on the web, then intelligent people can only assume that they aren’t doing their best because they don’t know how! But is it my place to teach them, especially when it is unsolicited? No, it isn’t!
I learned a long time ago that I can’t please everyone all the time. Some people can never be pleased, nor do they want help. The fact that some of these people are basically social outcasts speaks for itself. They obviously prefer to be by themselves most of the time because they have found few other people that they can get along with. I’m a little like that myself, and become even more so when my attempts to help other people is thrown back in my face because my ideas didn’t live up to their expectations.
I don’t claim to know everything, but many people think “they” do. I have worked with and (for very short times) associated with people who always had to top someone else, no matter what they said. They always had to convince everyone within earshot that “they” knew better! What an enormous inferiority complex their parents must have created in them! One can’t help but feel sorrow and pity for them!
I have to say, I have never run across anyone in my life that actually likes a “know it all” or likes to be around one. Those that think they always know more than the next person will find themselves left by themselves when everybody walks away from them, because no one wants to hear it. Intelligent people respond to criticism with questions… not more criticism!
If they can’t train themselves to do that, then maybe walking away is the best thing, after all. If you can’t carry on a civil conversation, or change someone, then why get into a confrontation with them? What is the point of criticizing someone trying to help you? If you don’t agree with them, then simply walk away and say nothing!
Another thing that is really a pet peeve of mine is a constant “motor-mouth” who monopolizes a conversation with nothing but nonsense. There can’t be any exchange of ideas when one person is constantly interrupting the other and not paying attention to what is being said. They are too busy worrying about what “they” are going to say next to be listening, and they can’t absorb any knowledge when they are constantly giving their version of it! When people do that to me, I simply walk away. If they think I’m rude, then they need to take a look in the mirror! To me, interrupting other people’s conversation and their train of thought is the height of rudeness! When I see news anchors do that to people they are interviewing, I shut them off! There’s no excuse for that kind of rudeness! I have learned that it’s more prevalent in the United States than in other countries! We need to ask ourselves why!
In the past year I have distanced myself from some people, including those whom I “thought” were friends. Two of my childhood friends passed away in these last two years, and no one from their families or our old group of friends bothered to call and tell me. I had to find out by accident two months after the fact in both cases. When I sent PM’s on Facebook to get answers, they totally ignored me! It’s not like they can’t find me, or anyone else these days. Only people who are literally trying to hide cannot be found easily enough on the web. There’s no excuse for treating other people that way, especially those that were supposed to be friends!
(Update: I discovered later that at least some of these people HAD replied by Facebook Messenger, but due to the fact that Facebook threw messages from other than listed friends into an “Other” message tab that I did not see, those messages were lost by the time I discovered it.)
Before that, it was my high school reunion class, three of whom promised to send pictures, and not one of them did. And when I emailed them to remind them they didn’t even have the courtesy to reply to my emails! How has this world come to be so self-centered and inconsiderate? I know I shouldn’t judge an entire class by the rudeness of only three, but I have other reasons.
Even my own family stole a great deal of money from me (over $250,000) through their own orchestrations and the help of their crooked attorney, and that rift will never be mended. I never got along with them anyway, because I disagreed with their “hautier than thou” attitudes, their constant social climbing and greed (proven by their theft of my inheritance) so it’s no big loss to me to never see them again! But it isn’t the outcome I would have preferred. I have always tried to be complacent my entire life, and never rock the boat when it came to relationships with others. But no more. I just don’t care anymore what other people think, and I am freer and more at peace because of it!
In order to rid my life of the types that cause stress to me, I simply “walk away” and put them out of my life and as far from me as I can. I no longer return emails to certain people, and have emptied my address book of their information. I have “unfriended” many people on Facebook because I only have so much time in my life, and if they don’t add value to my experience in it, then I don’t have time for them. In some cases I have even blocked certain people, especially if they are going to get in my face because of my attempts to help them.
I don’t want it to be that way, but I spend WAY too much time at this computer as it is, and there are only so many hours in a day. I’m sure some of you would say that I need to do that in order to get my final ebook done for the minivan, but I can’t promise that, either. I have a “life” in many other ways than worrying about writing books or doing web work.
I have property and vehicles to maintain, along with the normal everyday chores and hobbies that most other people have, and many of those have been neglected because of my computer work. Since I have retired, I don’t get out to socialize much anymore, and as far as what local friends we “used” to have, it’s as though we are “out of site, out of mind”, and I’m tired of always being the one calling to set up social engagements (which is usually nothing more than going out to eat on special occasions). There has to be balance, and I’m attempting to get that back.
So in following with the name of this post, I must simply “just get along”… with myself first, and then with whomever else can show that they wish to do the same. Life is too short to put up with “know it alls” and social outcasts whose own lives are so miserable that they have to find fault with what everyone else does in life, and make them miserable, too. Regardless of who they are, we all need to distance ourselves from such people, so that we can get rid of the stress in our own lives, and end up happier because of it.
It’s great to care about other people, but we need to also care for ourselves and pay attention to what we do for oursleves, for if we can’t make ourselves happy, then no one around us is going to be happy, either. If we can’t say something good or constructive to someone else, especially if they are trying to help us, then we need to know when to shut up and walk away until we CAN say something constructive. We need to build each other up, and not tear each other down.
So my wish for the holiday season and for the future of mankind, is for everybody to “just get along”. I truly believe that will make the world a better place.
So in that thought, and with no regard at all to being “politically correct”…I wish all of you a very Merry Christmas, and a Happy and Prosperous New Year!